Look at all you horny people continuing to read ;)
I is the S in SBW. Doesn't mean I'm easy. (well ish...) The Bitch has summed us all up to a tea (haha pun oh so intended)
Apologies for the delay, apparently to get money you actually need to work...
Is it venting time yet? I shall start anyway ;) So! It randomly started pissing it down on a sunny as fuck day, when I was on my way back from work. No umbrella and in a rush, I decided to soldier through it and just run Bollywood style, praying my boobies don't knock me out. I power walk past a bunch of Asian guys and hear "Tip tip barsa pani..." (I was just as mortified) I don't understand their need to bust out in inappropriate song when they see some pum pum walking by.
Does this happen to anyone else? Anyone else feel the need to shower after having an encounter with these gundeh?
Looks like I'll be the first one to post out of the 3 of us then.
{Yes, there are 3 of us here.. aren't you all lucky? ;) }
Let me start by introducing you to SBW. The Slut, the Bitch and the Whore.
{Kind of reminds me of Narnia, but the porn version lol.}
Wait, stop! If you're continuing reading this because you think this is going to be some 'Confessions...' or 'Secret Diary of a Call Girl' type of thing, leave now because you are hugely mistaken.
We're all good girls. {Kind of.} But really, we just love tea.
And now you're wondering what that has to do with such rude nicknames.
We saw this and it just sort of stuck.
We have foul mouths and discuss all manner of inappropriate things, more often than not, with a mug of tea in our hands. It just seemed...well, appropriate!
You might have figured out from the title, I'm the 'Bitch' one.
{If you didn't until just now, well then...I don't have words to describe the lack of brain activity in your head.}
This is pretty much because I speak without thinking and have been known to suffer from foot-IN-mouth disease and say the wrong thing. A lot.
Hmm...what else to say? Weeeellllll, I guess I could tell you a bit more about us and what to expect from this blog, but...
SURPRISE! We don't even know where this is going.
We have a few things in common, the three of us. So there may well be a theme throughout our posts, coincidentally.
We're...
...young {in our 20's, not children, so paedophiles may leave now}
...female {probably stating the obvious at this point but whatevs}
...brown-skinned! {WOOP! cue lots of Bollywood references}
Oh and for some reason, everything we say has a sexual innuendo. Inn-u-endo. IN-YOU-endo.
{LOL! Okay, we may not be children, but we're immature as fuck.}
You know when the playlist is on shuffle and randomly chooses a song that matches whatever is going on in your life so perfectly?
Yeah? That just happened!
So I'm browsing through my social network profile. My pic is currently an Insta-edited selfie {I do hate that word, but it describes the type of image so perfectly} from when I was out in the sun with my shades on and then THIS plays on YouTube which I have running in the background:
{For any non-Asians or Asians that just don't understand Hindi - shame on you, Bollywood should be the be all and end all of your zindagi - this video has English subtitles I believe, so you'll still understand why it's so relevant.}
Oh, you want to know more about me you say? Erm, I mean, you *think*?
{Unless you talk out loud to yourself when you're alone, you weird person. *cough*I do it too.*cough*}
I've just recently graduated from uni and my studentbeans account upgraded {downgraded in my opinion} to a morebeans account where they send me newsletters depressingly reminding me I'm no longer a student AND unemployed.
{Click the links in the text. Go on, do it. Especially if you're in the same position as me. If you're still a student, however, go jump off a cliff, I hate you. No, but seriously, sign up to studentbeans because THEIR newsletters send you discount codes and vouchers and other stuff that students get excited about. Yay!}
So anyway, I'm job hunting for full-time roles {waaaaaa, I'm a grown up now} and part of the whole process of applying to 7582561275815 jobs is expecting a few polite rejections, which I have indeed received.
What really {unreasonably, I know} pissed me off is when a week after rejecting my application, I get an email from a company asking me to do a 15-minute-long survey of their whole recruitment process.
Bitch please, you don't got time for me? I don't got time for you. Especially not to help you improve your systems!
{Maybe I should have done it and given them a load of stupid answers just to fuck with them muahaha.}
Okay, well I think that's me done for now.
Let me know what you think in the comments box below. Too short, too long? Anything, really! We'd just like to know if there's anyone out there reading the shit that goes on in our heads.
{No flames, please. That's not very nice. Actually, feel free to flame us... We're not shy. You'll get a piece of our minds and probably a juthi to your sar so hard you'll be singing "main toh ainvayi ainvayi ainvayi ainvayi lutgaya" for weeks to come.}
There's no Twitter or Facebook account set up for SBW right now and maybe we never will, so if you have something you'd like to say to us, do it here or email us at sbwjananis@gmail.com.
